With Endings Come Beginnings

I am realizing lately that endings and beginnings are a package deal. You cannot have one without the other, and while it may be easier to look at one or the other in isolation (depending on the circumstance of course) the other is always lurking close at hand. It is natural to mourn the end of something wonderful- a season of life, a place, people- but I can rest in the knowledge that something is beginning that will be better than I could ever imagine.

Moving is scary. There is not much else to it. It is especially scary to move when the only place you have ever lived is Nashville, TN. Everything in Nashville is known. I can drive it in my sleep, and there is nothing new for me to discover here. I have all my "spots" and I know everything about this city that is comforting. I know the coffee shops, and I usually know someone sitting at their tables. I run into people everywhere I go that I recognize or know on some level. By no means am I saying that familiarity is a bad thing. On the contrary, it provides a sense of comfort that is rare and beautiful. All of these things symbolize home to me. Nashville is home, and it always will be, and being known and secure in your community is a beautiful thing.

On the other side is the realization that there is a whole lot of personal growth and discovery that cannot happen for me in Nashville. There is a freedom I long for that does not exist here. Freedom is an interesting concept because it is defined in so many different ways. There is so much that freedom encompasses and so much potential in its discovery. I am not good with freedom. I like rules, and I like to keep them. I like having borders made and lines drawn, and I take great comfort in that which is known and comfortable. I read books multiple times, and I re-watch movies frequently because it is safe. I know the ending. I know I like the book. It is known and it is safe.

Freedom scares the shit out of me, pardon my Irish language. It means that the world is not defined by previous set boundaries or fences. It is mine for the taking, and I have no idea the first step to taking it. I know how to dream. That has never been the issue. Dreaming is easy, but the actuality of dreams is much more uncertain. I guess it is the fear of falling that keeps most people on the ground in the first place, and I understand that. The ground is known and safe, while the air is unpredictable and uncontrollable. But there is so much reward in taking those chances that seem so potentially catastrophic. Usually there aren't catastrophic at all, but rather exhilarating and liberating. I am trying to embrace freedom and what it means to engage in its discovery.

A New World

"Songs For A New World"

A new world calls across the ocean
A new world calls across the sky
A new world whispers in the shadows
Time to fly, time to fly

It's about one moment
The moment before it all becomes clear
And in that one moment
You start to believe there's nothing to fear
It's about one second
And just when you're on the verge of success
The sky starts to change
And the wind starts to blow
And you're suddenly a stranger
There's no explaining where you stand
And you didn't know
That you sometimes have to go
‘Round an unexpected bend
And the road will end
In a new world

A new world calls for me to follow
A new world waits for my reply
A new world holds me to a promise
Standing by, standing by

It's about one moment
That moment you think you know where you stand
And in that one moment
The things that you're sure of slip from your hand
And you've got one second
To try to be clear, to try to stand tall
But nothing's the same
And the wind starts to blow
And you're suddenly a stranger
In some completely different land
And you thought you knew
But you didn't have a clue
That the surface sometimes cracks
To reveal the tracks
To a new world

Then you realize you didn't know anything
Nobody told you the best way to steer
When the wind starts to blow
And you're suddenly a stranger
All of a sudden
You life is different than you planned
And you'll have to stay ‘til you somehow find a way
To be sure of what will be
Then you might be free

A new world crashes down like thunder
A new world charging through the air
A new world just beyond the mountain
Waiting there, waiting there

A new world shattering the silence
There's a new world I'm afraid to see
A new world louder every moment
Come to me, come to me!

I am starting this blog as I am starting my new adventure in California. This song seems like the appropriate way to start, since I have found a new world that is shattering the silence. It whispered "time to fly, time to fly." It called for me to follow and it holds me to a promise.

What a wonderful and appropriate song. It seems like the perfect song to narrate the beginning of an unforgettable and completely unknown adventure. It will surely be A New World.